Smooth as Silk: How a Chocolate Fountain Can Make Your Emails Better

Published on December 3, 2013 by

Your writing should flow like a chocolate fountainYep--it's that time of year again. Time for an overabundance of holiday parties....

And most every gathering will feature an elaborate display of cookies, candies, and other assorted sweets that will do nothing to help our waistlines (new year's resolution, anyone?).

One of my favorites on the goodie table is the chocolate fountain. It's so mesmerizing...wave after wave of luscious melted chocolate, flowing smoothly and sleekly, almost begging me to grab a strawberry, pineapple chunk, or marshmallow (my favorite) and plunge it in.


But in a copywriter's eyes, the greatest thing about the chocolate fountain is not the fact that you can instantly envelope virtually anything you want in a warm coating of gooey delight.

Nope--it's how this simple, yet fascinating contraption can help you write better email copy. Let me explain...

When writing an email, many of us tend to focus on things like voice, grammar, sentence structure, etc. Like we were writing a business letter or semi-formal correspondence.

But we're NOT. This is more of a personal message, not a white paper. Which means what they REALLY need to focus on is one word: FLOW.

A good email flows from beginning to end, seamlessly connecting each word, phrase, and paragraph with the next, so it all seems effortless to read.

There's no clunky sentences. No weird formatting or word usage. And nothing that says "I've gotta work to get through this"(which, by the way, they won't do. They'll simply delete and move on to the next message in the inbox).

It's sort of like reading a great story by your favorite author. How many times have you settled in for a chapter or two, then look up to see that it's 2:30 in the morning and you've read nearly half the book?

It's because you became engaged instantly, and everything just "flowed" from there. Perfect rhythm. Perfect pacing. And no hindrances whatsoever.

Just like a chocolate fountain.

A good email flows from beginning to end, seamlessly connecting each word, phrase, and paragraph with the next, so it all seems effortless to read.

Here's a couple of helpful hints on creating better flow in your emails...

1) Write How You Talk: A lot of emails tend to sound like a script from those nightmarish health education movies we used to watch in grade school. Wrong! People don't talk that way. They use sentence fragments and contractions and funny little tidbits that keep things interesting. And don't worry if it's "grammatically correct". Just write it like you would say it, then clean it up a little to make it more readable. Works wonders to help things flow better.

2) Read It Aloud: Here's a secret I teach my copywriting students and consulting clients. Always read your emails aloud before sending. Hearing the actual words from your lips (as opposed to your mental voice) instantly highlights places in your copy that are clunky, wordy, or off-base. And if it's difficult for you to read aloud, how difficult do you think it will be for prospect or customer to get through it? This is a fantastic (and very easy) way to improve the flow and pacing in your messages.

So next time you're sitting down to write an email for your client or business, close your eyes and picture that chocolate fountain, with all the silky smooth loveliness it delivers. Then write your email in that same free-flowing frame of mind.

Just don't be surprised if you're ransacking the kitchen for a Hershey's bar when you're finished...


Jay White Jay White is an email marketing copywriter, consultant, trainer and speaker who trains copywriters and online business owners on how to write sizzling hot emails that get opened, get read, and get click-throughs. If you want a FREE video where Jay reveals 5 simple tweaks you can make to your email copy to boost conversions and increase profits, click here NOW!

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